HOW TO KILL YOUR HUSBAND OR SMOKERS WISDOM

There is an old joke where a woman tells a man “If I were your wife I’d poison your coffee.” The man replies, “If I were your husband I would drink it.”  So in an effort to make this article more interesting I will use this idea to construct a crime that is perfectly legal when done correctly .

The wife would obviously start by getting a sizeable life insurance policy on her husband. The more interesting thing would be how she slowly poisons her husband.  She will start with breakfast. She would first server him up a nice cup of instant coffee that was over cooked so we can get the right amount of accrylimide(1) in it and with it a she would add a splash of creamer with the hydrogenated oils(2)(3) to improve shelf life.  She could cook him a nice breakfast of ham and eggs out of a teflon pan (5)making certain to overcook and brown the meal to make sure he ingests a large amount of advance glycotic end products (4) (AGEs).  She would also be certain to make sure the oil she cooks the meal in has a low smoke point and over cook it to increase the number of toxic aldehydes (6) within the oil prior to consumption.

She has the timer on the restroom oderizer set at a higher frequency so it sprays more when he takes his morning constitutional after the coffee kicks in. That way he inhales enough benzene to slowly accumulate in his body(7)

The sweet wife would make certain to pack her husband a lunch because she knows he can’t take care of himself. So she packs a good lunch of heavily processed meat sandwich with two slices of  oil based cheese also containing just shy of .5g trans fat that the manufactures don’t have to label(8).  She would only use the most heavily processed meats and breads weekly to promote the obeseogenic diet because she knows the inflammation it provides will correlate with mortality. She would also be certain to pack the at the very least a high fructose beverage to increase the amount of glycation that occurs in the blood and help to raise triglyceride levels (9).  All the while she would be certain that his intake of micro nutrients is at a deficiency state to impair glucose metabolism and create greater insulin resistance.(10)

She would familurize herself with his family history of chronic disease so she could help elicit the similar outcomes due to genetic predispositions. Her goal is long term because she is trying to accumulate lesions and double strand tears in her husbands DND, and she knows chronic inflammation is a key.(11)

For dinner she would be certain to microwave higher fat leftovers in plastic so the oils can leach various endocrine mimicking substances from the plastic, along with serving a side or two out of BPA coated cans to insure adequate saturation levels of plastic can be reached(10).

Finally and most importantly she would encourage him to stay up late watching television, or on his mobile devise to wreck his circadian rhythm. In doing this she will ensure the body remains in an inflammation state and has inadequate recovery so he will remain inflamed.(12)

The grand conspiracy to soft kill an individual is really not an organized one, it has come from my vantage as a sort of slip shot way to create greater food supplies that are easy and ready made.  With the advances in science and technology there are great and novel benefits. Sometimes short term benefits come with long term consequences.  As the cigarette philosopher would say we are all going to die anyway.

I barely ever proof read so feel free to fix grammatical errors as you go.  You can make it like a type of word search.  Have fun 🙂  Feel free to drop me a line if you have other ideas.

 

(1) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/articles/24325083/ 

(2) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19345947 

(3) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11458290

(4) https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080430203049.htm

(5) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26377870

(6)https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/06/050617065306.htm

(7) https://www.fda.gov/food/guidanceregulation/guidancedocumentsregulatoryinformation/labelingnutrition/ucm053479.htm

(8)https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19403641

(9)https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3313629/

(10) http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/29/health/canned-foods-bpa-risk/index.html 

(11)https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3132857/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.